For "OurPact", the third comparable app, there's this fun review:
For the “premium” level with all the controls (which frankly is the service level any responsible parent will want), you have to back each kid’s phone up to iTunes on your (parent) laptop, then erase and reinstall each one with a new OurPact-controlled OS.
I don't have any familiarity with the other apps in this space, but I am a heavy (and happy) user of OurPact. OurPact adds a lot of parental management features (including a remote kill) which the Apple controls are desperately missing.
The backup is taken at install time and it's perfectly reasonable to do so. The backup is stored local on your computer using the standard backup mechanisms, it's not uploaded to the cloud.
The installation process is actually opting the device into an enterprise management profile, not a custom OS. That custom OS blurb sounds like some goofy marketing speak or misunderstanding how this process works. The management profile allows OurPact to manage the device on your behalf using the same APIs any enterprise device management vendor would use.
Once the device is opted into the management profile, it's quite obvious it's under control and you have a lot of options including setting time limits on app, enabling various child protection features, preventing apps from being deleted, and most importantly choosing what apps are available and creating schedules for the device (i.e. disabling games during school hours/night).
Nothing about this process hides the fact that the device is managed. There is an OurPact Jr app that can be installed which gives the owner visibility into the schedule. I highly recommend reading the reviews by upset children for the OurPact Jr app on the app store. They are hilarious.
Anyway, my point is as a parent with a tech background and 3 children, OurPact has been a very useful and positive addition to our home life. They've been a good steward. They are limited in what they can do by Apple, but what they have done they have been very transparent and communicative.
You're just teaching your kids that they can't trust you with anything. They'll probably borrow old devices from friends and keep them hidden anyway. And don't be surprised when they hide parties, alcohol etc from you, even when they might need your help.
You might think you're doing something positive here - but all you're doing is ensuring that your kids will forever treat you as an adversary. Don't be surprised when they leave home after high school and never speak to you again.
Wow, you assume a lot yet you know absolutely squat about my family. If you want to ask questions about how it works, how we use it, and how it's benefited my family I'm more than happy to discuss it.
One would be wise to heed p1necone's comment. Based on friends and general life experience, this is 100% the case. I cannot even fathom growing up with parents having such oversight--that's basically a guaranteed recipe for stunted personal growth and/or subversion and lifelong distrust; not to mention an extreme invasion of privacy.
What happens if one's kid's are gay? Or interested in myriad other topics? Should a parent have 100% visibility and supervision over such things?
I do think there is some room for parental control apps, at least at a very young age (I see little reason someone under 13ish should be able to view porn).
But... they need to have their limits. A parent should not know every single thing going on with their child. Especially as their child is figuring out their own identity and later transitioning into adulthood.
I know there was once (yay landlines) that I caught my parents listening in on a call I was on... It broke my trust with them completely. I no longer felt safety from my own parents, to be honest it made me feel like a hostage in my young brain. From then on I did everything in my power to hide things further from them (and being very technical this was not hard).
You need your child to feel comfortable enough to come to you when they need something, not for you to come to them because you saw something that should have been private.
Basic child blocks? Thats fine up to a certain age
Time limits? Of course, that is your prerogative.
But knowing every single thing that is done on what should be a very personal device... that is problematic.
For the “premium” level with all the controls (which frankly is the service level any responsible parent will want), you have to back each kid’s phone up to iTunes on your (parent) laptop, then erase and reinstall each one with a new OurPact-controlled OS.
I'm starting to see a pattern here.