> I can't self-start anymore or do work that isn't demanded of me externally
I've had similar feelings in the past. For me, the way out is to flip it around: I'm not neglecting my personal project out of a lack of willpower or motivation, I've lost interest in my personal project and it's no longer rewarding enough to be worth my time! The solution is to find something new to do, not run yourself into the ground trying to see it through.
It's not a job: you don't have to deliver something for your time. Focus on what interests and excites you, not what will get internet points or make money. If you want to allocate part of your free time towards making money, treat that like a second job and not as free time.
Also, a career culminating in a permanent fellowship with an inter-dimensional time traveling think tank in your early twenties is an unrealistic standard for achievement.
I've had similar feelings in the past. For me, the way out is to flip it around: I'm not neglecting my personal project out of a lack of willpower or motivation, I've lost interest in my personal project and it's no longer rewarding enough to be worth my time! The solution is to find something new to do, not run yourself into the ground trying to see it through.
It's not a job: you don't have to deliver something for your time. Focus on what interests and excites you, not what will get internet points or make money. If you want to allocate part of your free time towards making money, treat that like a second job and not as free time.
Also, a career culminating in a permanent fellowship with an inter-dimensional time traveling think tank in your early twenties is an unrealistic standard for achievement.